bridewidow

Great Rivers, Great Challenges 2007

Photo by DeAnn Lloyd

Bride or Widow?

A friend sent me a note she received from a woman in the underground church in China. The woman had been suffering illness for some time. In frustration, she began to ask the Lord what was the problem….and He said to her, “Stop praying like a widow and start praying like a bride.”

That phrase struck me like a thunderbolt. We ALL pray that way, unless we have no problems of any kind. (And I don’t know many people who are like that).

BRIDES KNOW THEY ARE CHOSEN. Widows have lost. The widow mentality sees loss as the basis – and at the back of the mind is that terrible seed: “not for me, but for everyone else.” Chosen people never go there.

Being chosen is directly proportional to the content of the heart.

Jesus once said, “Many are called, few are chosen.” Why? Because few will allow the Lord to make the necessary heart changes to get to the place where “chosen” becomes a way of life.

A bride has only hopes, dreams, and plans. She hasn’t lost anything yet, so she does not think about loss -- only a future that glows with hope. Once we pass our initial meeting of Jesus, we tend to drift downward into discouragement rather than move upward into the chosen realm. We have had an enemy bent on destroying us permanently, so steadily we have lost much in the journey. Most of the time God’s grace covers us in that, but it doesn’t make it any easier when it comes to the trials of everyday living. And if the downward spiral continues, our destiny will be hampered. We will not fulfill the part about being “chosen for such a time as this,” because we’re too busy praying to get out of the deep well that we have been trapped in.

He is now asking us to change the way we think about our prayers, our relationship to Him, and stand WITH HIM in the process of reigning. There are some portions of our thought life and focus that must change, and they must change now in order to be in that part of the kingdom. We must know NOW that we are CHOSEN, and operate from that perspective. It is a position of gratefulness, and humility.

Esther is the first one we can use as an example. Esther knew that she was chosen, not just because Mordecai told her, but because the king actually DID choose her above all the other concubines. She was in fact a slave when brought to Persia. Suddenly she was thrust into the court of concubines. It was a divinely chosen moment. Yet in it she remained true to her family, her people, AND her king.

There are secrets in her heart that we need to pay attention to:

1. Esther did not require ANYTHING for HERSELF! In Esther 2:15, it says: “Now when the turn came for Esther the daughter of Abihail the uncle of Moredcai, who had taken her as his daughter, to go in to the king, she requested nothing but what Hegai, the king’s eunuch, the custodian of the women advised.”

In other words, she listened to advice, she was not greedy nor rebellious, nor did she demand more gold, more wardrobe, better hairdo, etc. She was soft, quiet, modest, and humble.

2. Esther first saved the king’s life when a plot was discovered by Mordecai. AND she did not take the credit for herself, she gave it to Mordecai where it belonged. She simply spoke the truth to the king. She was faithful toward her king as well as her family. She held others in esteem above herself.

3. She risked her life to save her people, and she did not hesitate to do so. As the favored queen, she went before the king and stood openly in truth. She spoke her truth even if it got the enemy stirred up. And when a lie was tried against her, it did not stand because the king by then knew her character.

An aside here:

In the spirit realm Esther took on the spirit of hatred/murder of God’s chosen people, the spirit of greed, the spirit of jealousy and covetousness, and the lying spirit. She won because she took all of it to the king himself, and believed that God was with her. And she won because she was able to overcome fear to stand in that truth. Demonic realms cannot stand the light of truth. It causes them to fall completely apart, especially when it is done with humility and thankfulness. And her pure heart kept her in the midst of turmoil.

There is a clue to the heart of Mordecai in Esther 10:3

“For Mordecai the Jew was next unto King Ahasuerus, and was great among the Jews, and well received by the multitude of his brethren, seeking the good of his people and speaking peace to all his kindred.”

He sought the good of his people, and spoke peace to his kindred. I’m not convinced that currently the vast majority of Christians seek the good of the brethren, the people, or their families. Conflict tends to rule this day in which we live, rather than the desire to speak peace. And it’s the self that is foremost, not the uplifting of others.

Our prayers are also riddled with deceptions even in ways we don’t realize. Are we doing it on purpose? No. But we do it just the same. We pray for money. We pray for it because we have lost so much we are in need. We are plugging the dike with our money, or giving to gratify ourselves rather that delivering it to God for His honor and use with no strings attached. It is a condition of the heart, not a condition of our bank account.

Let’s look at Solomon as an example- This extremely imperfect king was so blessed by God that the entire world came to his doorstep- and no other king throughout history has been able to amass the wealth that he gained. What were the secrets?

His story starts in 2 Chronicles 1:

1) Solomon was honored to be CHOSEN. So honored that his first act as king was to worship and sacrifice to the Lord. He was chosen in the lineage of David. God chose him to build the house of God Himself.

He only was required by law to make one sacrifice. Instead he offered 1000 sacrifices to God at the tent of meeting in Jerusalem. He felt CHOSEN, and was grateful for it. Why? His mother was Bathsheba. The adulteress. The son of an adulteress was chosen BY GOD to be King over Israel. So he was honored and grateful. He knew his roots.

God met him there at the altar and asked the now famous question, “What shall I give you?” Now ask yourself- what would YOU answer? No deceptions, no lies, what would YOU answer?

Now before we go any further. There is a parallel here between the two stories you may not have noticed: the king asked the person FIRST- what do you want? The king of Persia asked Esther what she would like up to half the kingdom. Note that she did not grab the scepter and start asking for riches or fame or power or a new wardrobe. She asked for something to save her people.

God asked Solomon after the sacrifice what he wanted. Solomon didn’t run off at the mouth and ask for all the gold, silver, jewels, horses, or slaves. He did not ask for his kingdom to be increased in size. He asked for the wisdom to be able to rightly take care of the people of God. In short, he asked to be a good king for the people. And in all of his reign, through sins and mistakes and idolatry, God NEVER removed the wealth or the wisdom.

In the Bible, we can find examples of murderous hearts, jealous hearts, greedy hearts, and a myriad of other sins that caused people to lose out on the destiny God would have given them. But in Esther, Mordecai, and Solomon, you will find just three examples of the many in the Bible whose hearts were in the right place in spite of personal imperfections or mistakes. They were people who asked for the right things, in order that they could help others rather than elevate themselves.

John 18:14 “… for everyone that exalteth himself shall be abased, and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.”

Are you a bride or the widow? And would you ask for things which save the people of God, or a new car? Do you realize He HAS extended that invitation to us? He said “Whatever you shall ask in My Name, that will I do that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” And remember the prodigal- the elder son who at all times had the access to any calf he wanted and all of his father’s goods? We have that access today. But our hearts must be humble, pure, and focused in God’s agenda, not our own. (James 4:3).

We can’t manufacture a clean heart that seeks the good of others above ourselves, but we can ask for the Lord to create one in us. We can’t make it up, force it, try to make it happen, but we can ask for a re-wiring from the Manufacturer. Then we can pray from a clean perspective, above our own needs or desires, to save the people of God from the death. God will answer by showering us with His power, His blessings, and His abundant life. And you will pray like the Bride of Christ, full of His glory… like the Bride chosen by the King for such a time as this.